It is so not me to meet a random guy from the Internet, but that is what I did. I know some girls do it for attention, some for sex, some for friends, some to get free dinner and drinks, and rarely there are the ones (me) trying to find true love, their best friend. In one week, I went on 4 dates (had 5 planned, one cancelled), what kind of girl does that?! Me (but really that is so not me). 4 in one week! Man, how must I look! But, I did it because I should not settle and I felt I should see my options. It is funny because 3 out of 4 guys wanted to play pool and grab drinks, which I love and all, but I wanted something that stood out more. I can tell you in that one week I learned more about myself and my standards then possibly in a years worth.
So the things I learned on those 4 dates :
1. The standard of a guy buying.
One guy did not buy, which was a big turn off for me. It was only 2 drinks! I guess I have that standard on the first date that a guy should buy. Is that a bad standard to have? Now, let me tell you I pay my fair share when I am dating, but first date, it is a must for me at least. And I had never knew this was a standard for me.
2. Over confidence is a BIG turn off
One guy was sooooo over confident. He kept saying "I am going to kiss you goodnight." and even saying no you will not, he still did not get it. I couldn't wait for the date to be over and as he was walking me to my car, he said "aw you aren't even going to kiss me goodnight." I said I told you I wasn't going to. Gross!
3. Going to the bar downtown on a weekend is not a good first impression.
One guy was wanting to meet me at the bars downtown on a weekend. I kept telling myself, what kind of first date is that, I am not a girl you are picking up on the weekend for a booty call. I feel like that kind of first date would set a totally different tone to a relationship, not one I would want. He spoke a lot about getting drunk and going to the bars a lot. I realized I want someone that rarely drinks, that is much more responsible in that aspect and not always spending time and money at the bar. Create a better first impression buddy!
4. I HATE pet names, especially if I do not know you.
One guy kept calling me pet names, Mama, being one. So gross. And hunny. I am sorry, but if I do not know you and you do not know me, please please do not call me that. NEXT!
5. A guy that laughs at himself and speaks to himself more, is not for me.
I do not even know how to describe that date - playing pool, having a few drinks and all he is doing is making random comments about the commentary on the television, but it was a conversation with himself majority of the time. He thought it was hilarious too. I did not get his humor at all. But, also realized that personality isn't for me. NEXT!
6. If a guy is going to cancel on you because you aren't "curvy" enough is a douche.
Yeah, one guy cancelled on me because from pictures he said I do not look "curvy" enough. I was actually looking forward to this date because we were going to go see Frozen. He said one picture he could tell I had a little to me and he really liked it. When he texted me to cancel because I was not curvy, I said oh it's okay if your standards are all about appearance and body image, I know for a fact you are not for me. Obviously he did not like the rejection (although he rejected me first). He said to send him pictures of myself so he could see my curves. I am sorry but I am not looking for a guy like that. NEXT!
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I LEARNED
7. Go for the guy that is completely different than allllll the other guys.
My final date was a lunch date. One friend said who goes on a lunch date for a first date. Well, I think that is one reason why he stood out. He did not want to do the typical lets go to the bar and play pool. He stood out because he was willing to meet me in a totally different circumstance. Maybe the other guys did not have the flexibility with their job to do so, but still it stood out for me. And it stood out how much he was making me laugh through text before even meeting him. I realized I want someone more to do the every day things, like go to lunch, not to the bar. I realized want someone that makes me laugh like he was and has.
MY FINAL DATE..continues...
To do this day, I wonder if I am ready for the dating world all because of my past and because I do have a lot of growing up to do and insecurities to set straight, but I do gotta say, this guy (my final date) has made me realize that I want to be ready for something good and something good with him. He is no where close to the other 4 guys or other guys that messaged me or guys I have dated and I couldn't be happier for that. I do not know if he knows how lucky I am to have him in my life. I would explain how great he is, but I know how much he LOVES PDA haha. It has been an adjustment for me to have such a great guy. I know that sounds weird for some people to hear, maybe, but when you are used to be being burned, you almost cannot believe wow look at this man in front of me, he treats me great and is so respectful and I am extremely lucky to have such a sweet genuine man.
Moral of this post is, it is amazing if you put yourself out there what can happen. You just have to know what you want. You have to know self control. You have to know yourself and you may be amazed what you'll learn about yourself just by putting yourself out there for love. It can all be worth it. And you never know, maybe online dating can be for you. Just learn to trust yourself, trust him and to trust time.